Added: Willow Locker - Date: 26.01.2022 06:42 - Views: 23624 - Clicks: 3326
Being a plus-size woman brings challenges in many areas of life—including the area of sexual intimacy. I know first-hand how painful this subject can be. I was a thin and active child, but when I was a young adult I began to put on weight. I am now quite overweight. Fortunately, Big Guy adores my curves and always has.
Yes, I want to be healthier. I would like to be thinner. This is who I am and how I look. Still, writing this post is a struggle. This feels different. More vulnerable. I totally made that word up. It works. I was not prepared how difficult this post would be to write. I have a follow-up post that will address some physical realities of plus-size intimacy.
Some overweight women are married to men who are critical of the weight. As much as we may struggle with our weight and getting healthier, sometimes the bigger struggle is how to live our lives to the fullest in the bodies we have right this moment. Other advice is all about embracing—and even flaunting—the glories of a large size, accompanied by a dismissal of any challenges we face.
Should I make changes so I have a healthier body? I like the idea of embracing who and what I am, but that seems partly inauthentic. The fact is that even while we are working to make changes, we need help in dealing with the realities of the life we have today. The most ificant way that being overweight can affect sexual intimacy is in how it makes us feel about ourselves.
With extra weight, it is an even heavier burden.
We hear so much about men being visual. Overweight women may find it particularly difficult to be naked in front of their husbands. As the clothing sizes increase, the options for us decrease. Larger women have more difficulty finding things in their own sizes, with fewer styles and colors from which to choose. Plus, these items cost more in large sizes than in smaller ones, which can be difficult in a tight budget.
Something that could be fun—shopping for sexy stuff—becomes yet another painful experience. Many overweight women feel embarrassment or shame about their weight. We may struggle with this out in our daily lives. Hearing smaller women complain about being bloated or getting fat is difficult and embarrassing.
We then bring feelings of shame into the marriage bed—where we should be naked and unashamed. Remember that the goal is intimacy. Being sexual with your husband can strengthen the connection and oneness in your marriage. The best way to tackle body image issues is to work on your own feelings about your body.
Weight is just weight. He still chases me and I still let him catch me. If you are being sexual with your husband, you are pursuing sexual intimacy—and that is a good thing! Imagine how you would act if you were a sexier woman—and then do that. Savor the ways you affect him sexually. When your husband is touching you, focus on the physical sensations. Allow yourself to think about the ways he shows you he loves you.
Fill your mind with the physical and emotional expressions of love to help push away thoughts about being unattractive. I know how very hard this can be. I spent years insisting on sex in the dark or with minimal lighting. Seeing each other sexually contributes to intimacy and feelings of closeness. It is good for your husband to see your sexual enjoyment, and it is good for you to see his. So be brave, and take some baby steps if you need to—but work toward letting your husband visually enjoy the bounty that you have for him.
This post gives suggestions for baby steps you can take. When he would see any part of me naked, his eyes would light up. Our size shapes how we see ourselves as women. We often equate too much girth with too little worth. We may find it hard to feel sexy. The thought of sharing those bodies with our husbands can be intimidating and overwhelming. Dear sweet ones, I know how powerful these messages can be. I know what it is to have those messages wash through me during private moments: unexpectedly catching a glimpse of myself in a mirror, trying to brave a full-frontal look in the mirror, or having to change how I do something I did for years because my size makes it difficult.
God loves you, no matter your size and shape. You are fearfully and wonderfully made. In context, it has nothing to do with food or exercise. It makes me angry! We can find healing and have transformed thinking in Christ.
Only our Creator, whom created us in His image, gets to say what our worth is. Christ took our shame upon Himself on the cross, paying a price, with His blood, and that shows us our worth and the love He has for us. When we are baptized into Chriist, we are clothed with Christ. His glory covers us! I am praying for each woman who re this post, to find freedom. May any bondage to shame and feelings of worthlessness be broken. May there be a radiance and a glow shining forth, where ALL will see the beauty of a transformed woman! May she walk in the grace, that has been freely and abundantly been given to her.
Not only are we exposing our private parts, we are also exposing what we see as the source of so much shame. Finding release from that shame is an important step in being comfortable sexually. Excellent post, Chris. My husband is naturally lean, constantly ogled women and commented on their beauty and sexuality, and articulated his disgust at the sight of overweight people. I finally concluded the game was rigged. Regardless of my attempts to look appealing, he would still look at other women. And even if there was a perfect face and body and I had them, he would still look at other women.
The return on investment for all my efforts was unimpressive. Eventually, I realized all this focus on physical appearance had become an idol for me. I began to invest my energy in other areas: passionate ministry, meaningful work, trusted friends.Plus size married women for sex
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My Honest Thoughts About Dating as a Plus-Size Woman